Grief is strange, it comes in waves, it hits you when you least expect it, catching you unawares at the back of your throat. Unexpected things trigger it, songs, or smells. Random vistas stir memories long buried, which can erupt into sadness. A view down a track to a gnarled tree can unleash a torrent a grief. Whether we are grieving the loss of a person or an animal, grief can still be encompassing.
I have seen a brilliant graphic illustration about grief, which shows that your grief doesn’t shrink, just that you grow bigger. We are constantly growing and changing, our love of the person or animal that we have lost never goes, it is just that we grow to accept the loss.
My favorite quote about grief is: “Grief is the price we pay for love.” This quote is attributed to the Queen, though in fact it was is part of a longer paragraph written many years before by Dr Colin Murray Parkes which I will share here with you:
“The pain of grief is just as much part of life as the joy of love:it is perhaps the price we pay for love, the cost of commitment. To ignore this fact, or to pretend that it is not so, is to put on emotional blinkers which leave us unprepared for the losses that will inevitably occur in our own lives and unprepared to help others cope with losses in theirs.”
Life is a balance of good times and bad times, a mix of sunshine showers. All we can hope is that in the end, the good outweighs the bad, and that our over-riding memories are ones of laughter, and love. If that is the case, then personally I will accept the grief, in exchange for all the fantastic times, wonderful moments, and endless memories.