Are you having a bad day?

Everyone has a bad day every so often, and then every so often you have a terrible day when you feel like you have slithered all the way down the longest snake on the snakes and ladders board, right back to the bottom…

Sounds familiar? Don’t despair! First take a few deep breaths. When we are anxious we breath more shallowly and take in less oxygen, our brains interpret this a stress and then we become more anxious. So breathe – I know its hard but it really does help, you can do it anywhere, you can do it discretely, its free and you can do it by yourself.

Once you have breathed, tell yourself it is okay to have a bad day. You are not a robot you don’t function the same from day to day, we are affected by the world around us, and our triggers. We are constantly in motion, and evolving.

Remind yourself how far you have come, don’t focus on today, imagine a graph, steadily rising, this is simply a blip, not a trend.

Reduce your expectations for today. So, you had planned with your new found confidence to go on a longer hack by yourself today, but that was going to be a challenge so today is not a good day to do that. Why not lead your horse round that hack instead? Or do some groundwork or give them a massage? This is not failure, it is adjusting to the circumstances, it is sensible.

Be kind, don’t beat yourself up. Don’t say things to yourself that you wouldn’t say to someone else. Look after yourself, chocolate, hot bath, early night, good book, whatever you need.

And then tomorrow, you will wake up and the world will look different, feel different and you will wonder why yesterday seemed so tricky, and then you will carry on with your day…

Confidence – it comes and goes…

By Lizzie Hopkinson

Confidence is one of those strangely elusive things, that if you look too closely at it may vanish. Some people seem to find it effortlessly easy, while others find it a harder skill to master. Sometimes you think you have it sorted and suddenly it deserts you, leaving you floundering around.

Everyone has days like that, you are not alone. Often we can be trundling along quite happily, and suddenly we hit an “anxiety pocket” and just like that we are floundering.

There are ways to tackle this. Firstly remember to breathe! Long slow breathing is proven to calm us down and reduce our bodies stress response. Secondly, ground yourself. Grounding is a technique whereby you focus on your body and how to relates to the earth. You can read more about this here: https://scottjeffrey.com/grounding-techniques/

Reduce your expectations. So if your final goal is to be able to hack your horse by yourself, and you have previously been hacking with a friend, but you have suddenly hit an “anxiety pocket” then take a step back. You can ride in the school for a few days, you can take your horse for a walk in hand. You can spend some time doing groundwork, or simply massage him instead. After a few days, the anxiety may have passed and you will be able to carry on towards your goal.

If you push yourself too hard in the anxiety you can make the problem worse. But remember you know yourself best of all, people respond in different ways and need different types of support. So if your confidence suddenly takes a dive, work out what will help you. Most of us respond well to increased support, so see if your partner or friend can come with to ride.

Whatever the cause of your confidence dip it will bounce back, just remember to be kind to yourself.

Getting started

By guest blogger Sue Palmer

Recently I received an email from a lovely lady asking for help with her horse.  She bought him just a month ago, and everything was going great, but over the past week he’s misbehaving in his ridden work.  The lady suffers from anxiety, and she’s really worried that she’s going to ruin her lovely pony.  I reassured her that actually, it’s very difficult to do that.

 

There’s so much advice on the internet and on the yard that it can be difficult to decide who or what to listen to.  Science says one thing, the book you just read says another, your coach says something different, and the person who owns the horse in the next stable says another thing altogether.  Where do you start?  One suggestion is to start by avoiding analysis paralysis 🙂  If you’re like me, you’ll know someone who has literally given up and sold or retired their horse because they just don’t know what to do.

 

Analysis paralysis or paralysis by analysis is the state of over-analyzing (or over-thinking) a situation so that a decision or action is never taken, in effect paralyzing the outcome.” Wikipedia July 2018

 

Here are a couple of articles, if you like reading around a subject (one of my favourite things to do!), please note I have no links with any of these sites and am not specifically recommending them, I just picked them from a google search:

https://www.success.com/stop-overthinking-it-9-ways-to-make-decisions-with-confidence/

https://personalexcellence.co/blog/analysis-paralysis/

https://psychologenie.com/what-is-analysis-paralysis-how-to-overcome-it

 

Sometimes I find the best thing is just to get going.  Feel the fear and do it anyway.  But when it comes to my horses (or my child, or my work, for that matter), I often feel as though I’ve only got one chance, and I’ve got to get it right.  It seems like ‘right now’ is the only time this opportunity will ever come up, or if I don’t make the correct decision ‘this time’, then it’ll be a downwards spiral from then on.  This feeling is rarely accurate, and looking back, it seems that we usually have a second and third shot at things if needed.  If it takes so long to train a horse to do something we do want him to do, why do we think he will learn something we don’t want him to do so quickly?!

 

My latest project is to familiarise myself with the science that already exists on pain related performance and behaviour in horses, and to share that knowledge with you as I learn through my blog at www.patreon.com/thehorsephysio. I struggle with always being able to see ‘both sides of the fence’, and having some science to support a decision definitely helps me. The science I’ll be sharing is from peer reviewed published papers, but I’ll also be sharing anecdotal evidence through blogs and case studies. I’d love for you to come on over to the site and take a look, plus of course feel free to share if you know others who might be interested 🙂

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