A friend was lamenting yesterday that she’s not a ‘good enough’ girlfriend (turns out, of course, that she is!). I know, it sounds daft in the cold light of day, but how many of us spend a significant period of time in our ‘self talk’ telling us we’re not ….. enough (insert good, pretty, strong, clever, etc into the ….)? I’m considering getting a tattoo on my wrist saying ‘I am enough’, but ironically, I’m not sure if I’m brave enough!!!
My inspiration on this subject is Dr Brene Brown (she says she only introduces herself as a Dr when she’s feeling the need to prove she’s good enough!), beginning with her book ‘The Gifts of Imperfection’ (https://www.amazon.co.uk/Gifts-Imperfection-Think-Supposed-Embrace/dp/159285849X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1534567544&sr=8-1&keywords=the+gift+of+imperfections). I also love her books ‘Daring Greatly’, ‘Rising Strong’, and ‘Braving the Wilderness’. And the audio recording of her presentation ‘The Gifts of Imperfect Parenting’. Basically anything she’s written, pretty much!
Another guy who has truly inspired me with his writing is Alex Pang, with his book ‘Rest: Why You Get More Done When You Work Less’ (for those of you who are wondering when I find the time to read, I listen to audiobooks on www.audible.co.uk on the many, many hours I spend in the car driving from yard to yard!). Alex’s book (https://www.amazon.co.uk/Rest-More-Done-When-Work/dp/0241217296/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1534567826&sr=1-1&keywords=alex+pang+rest) is a bible to live by, from my point of view as a self employed practitioner. It’s so easy to be drawn into working 100% of the time, because there are always horses need treating, owners to talk to, emails to reply to, diary to organise, vets to contact, CPD to be done, improvements to be made, etc, etc, and the temptation is to feel as though there isn’t enough time. Alex says (and I’m paraphrasing here, I can’t remember what the exact words are) that it’s not a matter of getting more time, it’s a matter of making more time.
He does in fact give some incredibly useful and practical guides around achieving this seemingly impossible task, and I have to say that (when I implement them in a reasonable way) they work! He talks about techniques such as starting early, which gives you the chance to work without being interfered with by others. Taking regular rest, in particular a nap in the middle of the day (he even goes into the research around what benefits you get from a certain length of nap, or napping at a certain time, in terms of physically restorative or mentally restorative rest). Stopping when you’re on a high, to make it easier to get going the next day. Walking as a form of rest. The importance of day dreaming, or at least only focusing intently for a few hours a day then allowing your subconscious to continue the thought processes whilst you are engaged in other tasks. How ‘play’ is a form of ‘rest’, and doing ‘play’ that links into things you enjoyed in your childhood is particularly effective. I’m sure I don’t write about it well at all, but I do highly recommend the book!
What tips do you have around making more time? I’ve found that getting up early works well for me. I love writing, but I find it hard at the end of the day. I’ve never worked well at the end of the day – even in my school days I can clearly remember struggling in the evenings. A nap in the middle of the day works extremely well for me – again this is something I always used to do when I was younger (even into my 20’s, and at university in my late 20’s I found the ‘faith room’ because it was the only quiet place I could find to have a nap in the middle of the day). Tapping into the ‘play’ I enjoyed in my childhood has helped me rediscover the fun of playing board games with the family, and it turns out that 5yr old Philip particularly enjoys chess, which is a game I enjoyed as a child. I haven’t yet worked out how to fit walking into my daily life, but personal development is an ongoing process, and I know that more change will come in time. There it is again – time – here’s to making more of it 🙂